I'll try to recreate an old post from the old forum

[Linefinder]

My wife and I were watching a movie in the basement one Sunday afternoon. She went upstairs to get a soda (middle level of three levels). She came back downstairs, grabbed the cat and locked herself in the basement library, saying "There's something big and black laying outside our bedroom door". (Third level).

Hmmm....We have a slight raccoon problem here, and I knew from prior experience they can be hell on wheels. Wearing no shoes, no shirt, and only gym shorts I picked up the only weapons close at hand...a 3/4" ash dowel and a Buck 119, figuring I could fight my way to my .357 on the middle level if need be. I made it to the .357 without incident.

I peeked around the corner, and sure 'nuff....something big and black with traces of tan was laying on the top level just outside our bedroom door.

I was calculating shot-angle when I remembered I'd been painting the day before, and my wife had asked me to put my painting clothes in the hallway

Yep...I almost .357ed my house over a pile of dirty laundry.

Not one of my better days, but it was my wifes fault.

And yes....the library door WAS locked.

Mike

[Castle]

"Wearing no shoes, no shirt, and only gym shorts"

Are you trying to frighten the children who might read this?


Good story

Btw, we have raccoons over here also but no raccoon home invasion stories yet, maybe later.

[Justsomedude]

There was some good stories over the years..
Obviously the bucket story
Wambli shot his wife's vacuum
Orchidman dragging a shooting bench through the woods with a 4 wheeler
Anything Buttjerm, including CPJ shooting off his ass lol
A past member catching his shirt on fire
Buffy stories of course
Me losing my ever loving mind, to name a few.

[Linefinder]

I missed Wambli shooting his wifes vacuum. Please retell what you remember.......

Mike

[Wambli Ska]

My first 1911 had what most would consider a “hair trigger”. I decided to clean it as I watched TV in our living room as I usually did, which already irritates my wife who does not consider Hoppes a cologne like I do.

At that time I never wore gloves for cleaning guns so my hands were nice and soaked with Hoopes which you all know leaves an oily film on everything, including the frame of the freshly cleaned and wiped 1911…

When I was done I decided to reload the gun, as I usually did, so it could go right back to its holster. My trigger finger was firmly pressed against the frame right over the trigger and I was probably putting extra pressure on it knowing the gun was a bit slick. I inserted the magazine and let the slide fly forward…

Which immediately causes my trigger finger to slide off the frame and on to the trigger setting off the gun. This sent a .45 cal 230 grain Black Talon HP into the basement. My wife freaked out but not as much as when she figured out that the bullet had gone straight through the floors and into her vacuum cleaner in the corner of the basement, instantly killing it. A one shot kill and it did not suffer

Needless to say I do not clean or reload guns indoors since then

[Wambli Ska]

And I’m still laughing at the visual of you running around in your gym shorts with a knife and a stick

[Japhy]

What a conversation starter at the local water hole; a .357 hole with powder burns in the ass of your jeans

[Wambli Ska]

And another old one I shared in the old board…

I ordered a western rig from my old buddy Big Ed of San Pedro Saddlery in Tombstone AZ. It finally arrived and I took it to my bedroom and immediately inserted a pair of Ruger Vaqueros into the holsters to start the break-in process. Then I hung it from a post on the bed and went to sleep shortly after that.

This is when I owned my ranch so my standard wear was always easily accessible in my bedroom…

Next morning I wake up and as I slip out of bed I notice my new rig and my ADD brain goes, hey did you check to make sure he made the right size belt?

So on goes the rig with the guns in their holster. Then my brain notices my hat and boots by the foot of the bed. Oh well, on they go…

Then I start testing the fit of the holsters and how easy the draw is so I look around and I see my reflection on the glass doors that faced our yard. I turn around and start practicing my draw looking at my reflection on the glass.

Then out of the corner of my eye I see my wife staring at me and realized she just woke up to the sight of a guy in his underwear wearing a hat, boots, a double gun rig and undies practicing his draw while checking himself out on the glass door…

How I’m still married is a big mystery

[Castle]

...
Then out of the corner of my eye I see my wife staring at me and realized she just woke up to the sight of a guy in his underwear wearing a hat, boots, a double gun rig and undies practicing his draw while checking himself out on the glass door…

...

Somehow my warped brain can visualize that.

[Big Al1]

Funny stories!! But shooting the Hoover, that just sucks!!

[Wambli Ska]

[Wambli Ska]

Come on Linefinder and I can’t be the only ones…

[Big Al1]

Our 24 year old grandson has been living with us since his house burned. I went into the bathroom, half asleep, and almost ran to get my gun!! I thought there was a rat in the trash can!! Turns out he had just trimmed his beard!!

[jbp-ohio]

While living in Callaway Florida, I drove home from work and all along Tyndall Parkway there were police or Sheriff cars in every intersection with their lights on. I could even see LEO cars down another block watching those intersections. So I knew some criminal activity was afoot.

When I got home, I went to the bedside table and got my XD40Comp and carried it with me. After I had a snack, I went to the master bath for a major transaction. When I got done and went into the bedroom I could hear an unfamiliar voice. Everyone is supposed to be at work. I have the pistol in my hand and lean part of the way into the hallway keeping the gun ready but hidden.

There was a young black man I have never seen before standing in the hallway!

Now common sense would say get the gun up. I could tell just by his body language and his face that I did not surprise him and he wasn't scared to be caught. After a couple seconds I hear my stepson in his bedroom. The kid was his coworker at KFC and they were going to another location up north to work because that location had a lot of call offs that day.

Found out later that all of the LEO presence was for a bank robbery.

[Justsomedude]

One I posted on the old forum:
When I was in my mid twenties and didn't know squat about the quality (or lack thereof) of firearms, I had purchased a Cobra 380 pistol because it was cheap enough. We had a giant yard that I despised mowing but there was an 18yo kid in the neighborhood that would cut it using our push mower for $20. After he was done mowing the one day, we got into a conversation about guns while standing in the living room while I was paying him and told him that I just bought that 380, and he asked if he could see it. We went to the bedroom where I grabbed it and slightly pulled back the chamber to verify that it was empty (but it had a full mag.) He was handling it and at sometime racked the slide when I wasn't paying attention. He gave the gun back and was asking what keeps a gun from going FA so I thought I'd show him the disconnector movement that you could see between the slide and grip panel, when pulling the trigger and actuating the slide. I literally had my fingers on either side of the muzzle to slightly retract the slide to show the disconnect action and then pulled the trigger.. BOOM... Ears ringing, confusion and burned fingers. Thankfully I had it pointed in a safe direction which was the wall that had a nice .380 sized hole through it. You could look through it and see my neighbors pine tree. That was a ND that changed my life (and hearing). For years after that and still now I constantly check that guns are clear almost in an OCD fashion, like the gun ghosts are gonna slip a round in when I'm not looking. Not one of my prouder moments in life.